Bush Finds Vindimacation

(WC) - Public pronouncements that "things were done wrong" have been deemed "politicization" according to a new study, which states that the correct terminology is "things have gone wrong," or more to the point, "things are going exactly as

planned." The findings, published by Warner Trotter Franklin and Associates, are expected to impact the upcoming election in a big way. "We found that when topics are discussed in public, it's easy to cross the line between useful concern and shameful politicization," explained WTF's Harry Dropgood, who is also a Reverend at the First Holy Church of Armageddon Accelerationists. "As soon as you mention negative impacts in

relation to official policy, you've crossed that line."

"I think the word is vindimacated," president Bush said after being informed of the study. "Then again, maybe the word is vinduperative, I'm not sure." Bush was referring to the fact that people are using

criticisms of his policies as campaign issues for the coming election. "People have to remember what happened on September 11 and that we're fighting a war on terrrr," the president explained.

Clark Borrs disagrees with the conclusions, at least in part.

"It depends on how deeply the subject resonates with the public." Some topics may be criticized at length he said, such as "should the president have pushed harder for Beryl Street's nomination as the assistant undersecretary to the alternate US ambassador for The Marshall Islands?" But topics deliberately

used to adversely affect voting outcomes are off limits, like "why the heck was the president walking around

Baghdad Airport with a plastic turkey on Thanksgiving?"

The problem apparently is that neither side wants outrageously legitimate

criticisms of their policies or positions to be used against them. Candidates should ideally be judged on their hairstyle, their spouses, or their youthful indiscretions.

Chaw Time
With Gator McDougal and Junior Compost

Gator McDougal: Who you votin' fer president Mr. Compost?
Junior Compost: Why, ah'm glad you ask that Mr. McDougal.Ah was wantin' ta vote fer my cousin Billy, but Ah don't think he made it on no ticket outside o' Harlen.
GM: Ah thought Billy was yer uncle?
JC: Billy is my uncle.
GM: Well what in hail is he ya dang fool, yer cousin er yer uncle?!
JC: That depends on if'n yer lookin' at it from my maw's side o' the family or my paw's side o' the family, in which case he's my cousin an' my uncle, suspectively. Who're you votin' fer Gator…er, Mr. McDougal?
GM: Well frankie Junior, Ah think George Dubya Bush is the best president we ever had, bar for none. Ah mean, the man even talks to God!
JC: Yeahbut, some people sayin' Dubya talk-a-like an idiot. Do ya think God thinks Dubya talk-a-like an idiot?
GM: Well Ah cain't speak fer God, but it don't bother me none if'n people sayin' that er not. Fer the first time in my life are president ain't never talkin' no nonsense. The man talks on are level an' Ah think that's a good thing fer the country Junior.
JC: Gosh dern Gator, that's mighty fillacyclefull.
GM: Ah think you mean philosophimocal, an' yer absolutely right. Ya see Junior, one day while readin' Reader's Digest at the fillin' station Ah read about what they call them great Geek thankers like Playdoh. Changed my life it did. Now Ah spend most o' my time juss settin' 'ere thankin'.
JC: You read Reader's Digest?! Dang, that shit's too high-fallutin' interlectural fer me Gator, but then Ah always knowed you was the smartest man in town!
GM: Only 'till George Bush come ta town Junior, only 'till George Bush come ta town!